Seasons in the Sun

Bell bottoms. Leisure suits. Baby blue eyeshadow. These are just some of the things that the 1970s are remembered for.

But this list is not complete without one more foundational element of the era: schmaltzy songs.

Before we continue, let’s first establish the definition of “Schmaltz.”

From the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

(Author’s Note: “Schmaltz” is also the Yiddish word for rendered animal fat, especially chicken fat but that’s a discussion for another day)

No one seems to know the reason why, but the decade starting in 1970 kicked off an era where sugar was sweet and crap was king.

There must have been a subconsciously agreed-upon collective consciousness directive that drove us all to embrace the cheesy.

And embrace we did.

Sugar, Sugar - The Archies

Ah, where to start?

Perhaps with the quintessential tune that emphasized the unbelievable corniness of the era: Terry Jacks’ Seasons in the Sun.

Just the mere mention of this “classic” elicits a cacophony of groans from any and all present who lived through its chart-topping ubiquity during the time. We came out scarred but alive, so war stories and reminiscences are expected and understood.

By all accounts, this classic was a “one-hit-wonder.”

A one-hit-wonder - absolutely, but what a hit it was.

The corniness alone merits an award for the song being the unequivocal champion of cheese, perhaps of all time.

Let’s dissect this banger, shall we?

Before we do so however, it’s important to understand up front what the song is all about. In a nutshell, a dude is dying and he’s saying his goodbyes to the important people in his life, one by one. These goodbyes are interspersed with reminiscences of experiences that the dying man had with three special people in his life.

Okay - with that synopsis out of the way, let’s dive in.

Here are the lyrics. Brace yourself.

Let’s Discuss.

Where to begin? There’s so much to unpack here.

Let’s start with the overall premise of the song.

It’s about death. Impending death. Extremely impending death.

In the eyes of the subject of the song, the grim reaper was just around the corner and time was rapidly running out. Clearly, it was now or never for the song’s protagonist to say his final goodbyes. When you think about it, why not go out on a saccharinely-sweet note?

In 1996, over 20 years after the song hit the music charts, Jacks explained the meaning of his 1974 hit in an interview that he did with a Norwegian talk show.

He explained that the song - which was a remake of a French tune called “Le Moribond” from 1961 - was about Jacks’ friend who was dying of leukemia. While on the golf course with his friend Roger, Jacks was shocked to learn that his golfing buddy was terminally ill and had just months to live. When his friend did finally pass away, Jacks modified the original song to be written from the perspective of his pal who, in the song, was saying goodbye to his loved ones. The 1974 remake focuses on three of the song protagonists’ most cherished loved ones: his friend, his his father and his daughter.

Indeed, it’s simultaneously a heart-wrencher and the cause of a high-glucose overdose, depending on your point of view.

Death as a Singable Earworm

Let’s face it: Impending death isn’t usually the basis of a happy heartwarming tune. In an age when music was by all accounts, “light,” this one was anything but. Funnily, the backing music was pleasant enough - kind of like Muzak with a little bit of slowed down standard pop phrasing thrown in - but that’s where the fun ends.

The recounting of cherished memories and woeful farewells that Jacks describes is almost too much for the listener to bear /s.

Beaches. Sand. Sun. Starfish. What could be better? These evocative images only underscore the horror of impending doom that all of us must face: our mortality, and in this case, its very rapid approach.

‘Seasons in the Sun’ Was a Remake of a French Song

The 1974 hit that has gone down in history as one of the worst (or best, depending on your point of view) songs ever owes its existence to un homme named Jacques Brel.

The Belgian singer recorded the song in French (which, entitled “Le Moribond” translates to "The Dying Man"), with the tune having a much more dark tone than the subsequent song made famous by Terry Jacks. In Brel’s version, he bids farewell to his loved ones as he is terminally ill and death is imminent. In this version, however, he also addresses his unfaithful wife - which couldn’t have been easy, considering his soon-to-be fate. While Brel’s version covers an added layer of pain - infidelity and a sense of hopelessness - Jacks’ version, while also conveying pain, manages to also exude an equal amount of sickeningly sweet and bizarrely sappy farewells.

Actually, his maudlin tone is beyond sappy, almost whiningly so.

Certainly there are some who may disagree but it’s fair to say this is, for the most part, true. Why else would the song be listed as one of the worst - ever?

And let’s be clear.

None of us who take this position - that the song is exceedingly sappy - aren’t without empathy for those who are imminently staring death in the face.

It’s not uncommon for those who are knowingly facing “the final curtain” to reveal their once private thoughts, mistakes that they had made in the past, or to even issue apologies. There’s a reason that we have a phrase for this very act: “deathbed confessions.”

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That final chance to let it all out must be at once equally cathartic and painful. Knowing that your days are numbered and facing the end with a stoic countenance and quiet dignity can’t be easy. Now, imagine if you were not only on your deathbed, but were there, telling the love of your life that you know that she/he cheated, as Monsier Brel advised his wanton spouse. When looking at the situation from this perspective, perhaps Jacks’ version isn’t the worst version after all. Perhaps it’s a matter of taste and, from the singer’s perspective, personal expression.

Of course, not all will agree. At the end of the day, we like what we like - or dislike. It’s personal. Some people just have more of a sweet tooth and an overall higher sugar tolerance than others.

The O.G. Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks

The original French version of Seasons in the Sun - Le Moribond:

Nirvana’s Cover of Seasons in the Sun

How do you feel about Seasons in the Sun? Love it? Hate it? Not sure? Tell me about it in the comments section below.

Everything But The Kitchen Sink…

Am I the only one who thought that the Acme Company was real?

This, all because of Looney Tunes.
As a Gen-Xer, Acme was a market leader in…well…everything.

Never before nor since has a company excelled as did Acme, being the market leader that it was. And we’re not just talking about specific markets. No. We’re talking about all markets.

Acme products ranged from the unbelievable to the even more unbelievable.

Do-It-Yourself Tornado Kits.

Rocket-powered roller skates.

Anvils of all sizes and shapes.

And dynamite. Lots of dynamite.

The range of characters that purchased Acme products were equally as diverse: Wile E. Coyote, Bugs Bunny, Sylvester, Tweety bird… they all engaged the service of and used the tools created by Acme.

Don’t believe me?

Take a look.

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We Let Things Go — Life Before the Wayback Machine

Remember when being “Cancelled” wasn’t a thing?

The only things that got cancelled back in the day were television shows, and much too often, our favourites.

During this same era, other things were dutifully cancelled: magazine subscriptions, doctors’ appointments and dinner parties.

You know - the usual.

Remember there was no cable to cancel, nor were there streaming services to vengefully cancel out of protest or anger (take your pick)? We did, after all, subsist with only four channels for so many years, and in monochrome - read “black and white” - to boot. Cancelling the meager few VHF or UHF broadcast signals during these times would require some effort, e.g. Dad climbing up on the roof and dislodging the “Rabbit Ears.” Or perhaps you were in a one-rabbit-ears household and the only ears of these types that could be found were atop the aforementioned greyscale-content-spewing TV set.

And sure - “cancel culture” as we know it tod…

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What’s Shakin’?

What are you doing New Year’s Eve?

Partying like it’s 1999?

Chilling at home with a bottle of bubbly?

Sleeping?

None of the above?

New Year’s Eve is a time when many of us reflect on past years’ endings.

Some memories are just that - memorable.

Others? Well…let’s just say that you’d rather forget (or perhaps can’t remember even if you tried).

Regardless, New Year’s Eve and the start of another 365 days in the new calendar year and an opportunity regroup, reflect and recover.

Not only from the night before (if necessary), but from the preceding year that may or may not have been your finest.

Either way, it’s like being handed a clean new slate, blank, with endless possibilities for the year to come.

What will you write on this blank page?

How much will you use the lessons of the previous year to inform the one that’s just about to start?

Did we learn anything from our experiences that preceded this date?

Let’s hope.

Ha…

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Sad News

The horrific news revealing the murder of Rob Reiner and his wife is particularly hard on those of us who still see him as “Meathead.”

For the uninitiated, the name, when used, floated between being a term of endearment and a label of derision.

Fact: For many years in the 1970s, Rob Reiner played the character of “Meathead” in one of the era’s most iconic television programs, “All in the Family.”

For any kid growing up during this time, the classic Norman Lear TV show was must-see viewing. Leading the the Saturday night lineup, the show was the first stop on an evening of family TV watching, starting at 8:30, and ending at 11pm, with equally classic shows filling the airwaves in-between. All in the Family was followed by MASH, then the Mary Tyler Moore show, which led into the Bob Newhart show and was finally topped off with Carol Burnett, whose eponymous comedy hour highlighted and ended …

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“Hey, Siri! How do I get to [insert location here]?”

“Alexa! How long will it take me to get to [insert location here] from my current location?”

“Hey Google! Take me to the nearest gas station.”

Waze tells you that there’s an accident up ahead. Good thing there’s an alternative route" you think to yourself as you turn right onto the next side street, avoiding the traffic chaos altogether.

It’s so easy to find your way around these days, isn’t it?

Speak into the air, seek and ye shall find.

Someone - or some thing - is always listening. And in an age of continual notifications and digital updates, it’s no surprise. We’re used to it. We expect it. Speaking into the ether is part and parcel of our everyday lives. It’s the cost of doing business - personal or professional - in the digital age. Gen Z and Generation Alpha have not known any other way. It’s just is the way it is.

But it wasn’t always this way.

Those of us of a certain ag…

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‘If I knew then what I know now…’

A few years ago I wrote this article about life lessons that I had finally learned in middle age.

“Oh, if I knew then what I know now!” Haven’t we all asked ourselves this question?

Of course we have.

Who wouldn’t want to go back in time and redo things differently, given the chance, this time with decisions and words backed by the wisdom of age?

Unfortunately the much desired time machine that has been sought by so many does not (yet) exist so we can only continue to fantasize about a life where any errors in judgements, mistakes or humiliating face-palm moments can be eradicate as quickly as you can say “quantum time travel.”

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They were once worn only by the grooviest of men. In the 1960s and 70s they were in their heyday and held an unmoving spot in the list of “must have” fashion accessories. Hair fashion, that is.

Hair. On men. Yes hair on men was once a fashion accessory, and an extreme one in many cases.

I’m talking about sideburns of course – those once ultra-hip patches of facial hair that screamed “I’m cool!” by the men who wore them.

Sideburns can be described as “facial hair extending past the ear and along the cheek.” How much past the ear and how far along the cheek depended on the man’s desire to be seen, really seen.

I'm in >>

What we now know as “sideburns” were once called “sideboards” or “side whiskers” and were popularized in Western society in the 19th century. The term “sideburns” itself is a play on the original name “Burnsides,” named after the American (Union) Civil War general Ambrose Burnside who wore a very conspicuous configuration of facial hair. …

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Music meant many things before we could block out someone else’s jam

Mario Lanza.

Bach.

Harry Belafonte.

Barbara Streisand.

Paul Robeson.

The list goes on.

An eclectic group of musical talents, no doubt, and all three were on a continual loop in my house while I was growing up.

My parents, coming from the Caribbean and having been young adults in the 1950s, had a varied and eclectic love of music. Our house was musical; my father had always wanted to be a musician and played the violin, piano and flute, amongst other instruments. Of course the expectation was that us kids would follow (that’s another story).

Suffice it to say, music was part and parcel of daily life, and it manifested itself not only in the various instruments that were being played at home, but in the music that was being listened to as well.

I learned to love - and hate - many musical genres, singers and musicians and as a result, can confidently say that there’s something to be found in all types of music, often unexpectedl…

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The Generation X Lunchbox: ‘Healthy’ Wasn’t on the Menu

School lunch overreach is alive and well and existing in a lunchroom near you

If you were a kid growing up in the 70s or 80s, you’re lucky. That’s because like me, you grew up with very little rules and even less oversight. We were the “be home before the streetlights come on” generation, and we turned out okay, right?

The laissez-faire lifestyle was largely the result of working parents that in turn, raised a generation of latchkey kids who, by and large, learned to get by on their own devices, not helicopter parenting, Professor Google or ChatGPT.

Fast-forward to today, when the nanny-state has become a full on regime, down to the nth detail, including what parents put in their kids’ lunchboxes.

Who knew that this was a thing? I didn’t, but apparently it is.

Teachers and lunchroom supervisors in a number of places, are now chastising parents and in the worse case scenarios, sending home notes inside kids’ lunchboxes about the need f…

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An Extreme Suspension of Disbelief

Now, I know that most sitcoms — particularly ones from the 60s and 70s — rely heavily on viewers’ suspension of disbelief, but even so, The Flying Nun was a bit much. Seriously, the premise of this show was that the main character, Sister Bertrille (played by Sally Field) could solve any problem that occurred at the convent by simply catching a wave on the latest gust of wind and flying. Yes, flying.

Without wings.

Just arms.

Nothing else.

That is of course, if you exclude the weird and creepy thingy on her head (apparently called a Cornette) that apparently helped with the aerodynamics.

Set in San Juan, Puerto Rico, in a fictitious convent called San Tanco, the show was unbelievable — literally and figuratively.

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Business Up Front, Party in the Back!

That's how the classic 1980's and early 90's hairstyle, The Mullet has been described.

The popular hairdo consisted of short, cropped and some would say conservatively-coiffed locks around the forehead and over the ears, and a flowing cascade of locks that started behind the ears and continued on as long as the wearer wanted. That’s where the party really started.

Of course, one could confidently display their individuality by perhaps adding to the ‘do by rocking tightly permed tresses at said party, adding both flavour and fun in an instance.

You see, the Mullet was a universal cut. It transcended age, race, social class and more. The tribalism that is often the basis of separation from others was almost non-existing during a time when men and women, old and young got on the mullet bandwagon in true ‘80s fashion. Curly hair, straight hair, wavy hair, frizzy hair - t…

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That's what the popular 80s hairstyle - the Mullet - was all about. From celebrities to regular folks, from grandmas to elementary school kids, the unique coiffure was everywhere in the 1980s.

Boasting both style and coolness, the mullet-wearer made a definite statement when rocking the 'do. They showed the world that they were tuned in, trendy and most importantly - cool.

Visit Living in the Past on Substack to read a full post on this popular hairstyle, as well as to see images and learn some fun facts about the mullet.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit livinginthepast.substack.com/subscribe

That's what the popular 80s hairstyle - the Mullet - was all about. From celebrities to regular folks, from grandmas to elementary school kids, the unique coiffure was everywhere in the 1980s.

Boasting both style and coolness, the mullet-wearer made a definite statement when rocking the 'do. They showed the world that they were tuned in, trendy and most importantly - cool.

Visit Living in the Past on Substack to read a full post on this popular hairstyle, as well as to see images and learn some fun facts about the mullet.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit livinginthepast.substack.com/subscribe

So few TV channels, so much time

The 1970s brought us many things in the entertainment category, which is no surprise. Remember: there was no 24/7 cable, digital streaming services, downloads and the idea of watching whatever, whenever on demand was unimaginable. Yes, it’s true: YouTube was non-existent and cat videos hadn’t made their debuts. As a result, we were awfully bored back in the day, and watched whatever we were given in the form of TV shows.

Let’s just say that we were a captive audience with lots of time to spare.

That being said, it was a generally a prime era for TV programming if you liked a particular type of show. If you were into family-friendly programming, the type that you would watch all together with Mom, Dad and Kids after dinner, you were in luck. If you were looking for something more edgy, well…this wasn’t really an possibility. There appeared to only be a certain genre of TV show that was available to the above-mentioned captive audiences. These included:

• Family-friendly programming such as Happy Days, The Love Boat and Little House on the Prairie

• Sit-coms such as The Mary Tyler Moore Show, All in the Family, The Odd Couple

• Drama series’ (often way over the top and over-acted) such as The Waltons, Hawaii 5-0 or Kung Fu

• Variety shows such as The Carol Burnett Show, Donny and Marie, and The Gong Show

The Gong Show

Now, this last example of 70s television fare was unique in its approach. It was part-variety show, part talent contest, part comedy and all-cringeworthy. Created by Chuck Barris (an interesting character in and of himself), the program was unique if only that it showed the range and breadth of talent - or lack thereof - that existed within the general populous.

Long before American Idol and America’s Got Talent hit the airwaves, there was a more pedestrian and stripped down version of the classic talent show. Yes, those of us who grew up in the 70s were regaled with very ambitious but equally untalented folks who really thought they were that good. But they weren’t, as evidenced by the “gong” sound that reverberated after the three judges mercifully put us out of our misery.

The Gong Show’s cringeworthy acts preceded American Idol’s popular audition shows by decades.

The Gong Show’s premise was simple: stripped down to its core, it was a good old-fashioned talent show. The problem was however, that there was a dearth of the key element: talent. Entertainment was the focus, so in this respect, the show delivered. It was funny in a painful kind of way, when the desperately untalented got up there and performed, only to be “gonged” before ending their set.

Humiliation of the contestants was the point.

It really seemed like everyone who competed on the program was particularly bad at what they did, and in true delusional fashion, leaned into their complete lack of talent. Being on the Gong Show was a self-declaration of a lack of talent and an overabundance of hubris. Shame? What’s that?

The Gong Show was at once silly, painful, cringeworthy, risqué and engaging — quite the feat for a show that was short on talent and long on cheese. But still, there are lingering questions that many of us viewers had while watching this showcase of the untalented.

The premise of the The Gong Show was simple:

1. Enter as a contestant to show off one’s “talent”

2. Proceed to showcase said “talent” to the television audience and the on-set panel of judges (which included the regulars: Jaye P. Morgan, Jamie Farr, Phyllis Diller, Arte Johnson, and Guest Judges: Adrienne Barbeau and Richard Dawson)

3. The performer got 45 seconds to prove their talent. If continuing the act would prove to be too painful for the judges, they would hit the giant golden gong that was on stage right by the panel of judges. Hearing the sound of the gong meant that the performance was immediately (and in most cases, thankfully) over, and the defeated performer had to leave the stage. If the judges got through the performance, they would assign a score to the act on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the program, the performers who got through the 45 seconds and received a score would be assessed, and the one with the highest score out of 10 would be the winner.

4. “Winning” meant that the recipient would receive the whopping sum of $516.32 as a prize, “a highly unusual amount," according to Barris himself. The amount was what the minimum pay for a day’s work was at the time, according the Screen Actor’s Guild. The lucky winner would also receive minimum pay for a day's a "Golden Gong" trophy.

It is still quite remarkable that one of the most popular shows of the decade included really bad stand-up comedy, off-tune “singing” and one-too-many hackneyed versions of the smarmy, sappy 70s hit song “Feelings.”

So, questions. There are so many about this show. Here are a few.

1. Who wrote the jokes for “The Unknown Comic?” This staple of the program was instantly recognizable by his badly-fitting suit and the brown paper bag that adorned his head at every appearance. That’s right — he never showed his face. Perhaps this was the result of knowing that his jokes were just not funny, despite his — or the Gong Show’s producers — attempts to make them appear that way. The paper-bag-on-the-head routine could never distract us from the fact that this “act” was silly at the best of times and cringeworthy at the worst.

2. Feelings…whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings If you grew up in the 70s, you probably know every word to the mega-popular song of the era, “Feelings.” Originally sung by Morris Albert, the tune captured the spirit of the decade in all its schmaltzy glory. You must remember, of course, that this was the decade that spawned hits such as “If” by Bread, and “Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks. The bar was set high (or low, depending on your perspective) in terms of which singer or band could out-schmaltz the other and by most accounts, Morris Albert’s 70s dirge was definitely at the top of the list. If you’re not familiar with this staple from the decade, you can listen to it here.

It almost became an expectation that with each show, the song would be covered — badly. Almost always, the contestant would get the gong, resulting in dreams of superstardom all but vanished in an instant. There was even a full episode where every contestant sang the song — with most of them getting the gong.

It almost became an expectation that with each show, the song “Feelings” would be covered — badly.

Fun Fact — So popular was the expectation that a contestant would belt out “Feelings” on the show that mega-comedienne Carol Burnett jumped on the bandwagon. Her popular character, “Eunice” that was a regular staple on her eponymous 70s hit show, competed on the Gong Show singing the overdone song. Had “Feelings” and the show jumped the shark at this point? Who knows.

The Newlywed Game

Another 70s gem created by Chuck Barris, The Newlywed Game debuted in the mid-60s, but it was in the groovy era of shag carpets and avocado-coloured fridges that this show really took off.

The premise of the show was simple:

The host, Bob Eubanks would have one person from each couple leave the room. The person remaining on the stage would be asked a series of questions about the missing spouse and would then write down their answers. Once the questions were recorded, the missing spouse would then return to the stage to have the answers revealed. If the answers were correct, the couple got points. If they were incorrect, the couple would get nothing but embarrassment, and perhaps an earful from their angry spouse, in full view of the TV cameras and studio audience. At the end of the show, the couple with the most points would win.

Pretty straightforward, right?

Perhaps that was the key to its success as well as its cringe-factor. To say that the responses provided by the contestants were an embarrassment is an understatement.

The “Cringe Factor” thread that connected these shows was part of what made them so popular.

Come on in!

How well did they really know each other? Judging by their answers, not very well. Were the marriages blind dates that moved much too quickly or shotgun situations where both parties were “coerced” into holy matrimony? The responses provided by these couples were, on a good day, hilarious; on a bad day, well… the word “embarrassing” doesn’t do them justice.

Making Whoopee — As a kid, I didn’t know what this meant but had a vague idea that it was something that married people did. The phrase was funny — it made me think of whoopee cushions, which were hilarious. The subsequent red-faced, stuttering answers were definitely a clue to what the phrase was alluding to, and the often mega-embarrassing answers revealed the intimate details of newly-married couples to the world. The question is — why? Why go on national TV to spill your secrets, dirty laundry and more, all for some cheaply-made furniture, a lifetime supply of Turtle Wax or Samsonite luggage? Were the 70s so boring that even those who had promised to love and cherish each other forever would sacrifice what should have been a sacred relationship in the name of fame, but not fortune?

Makin’ Whopee on the Newlywed Game

The Host, Bob Eubanks — The eternally slick and smarmy host of this show just added to its “ick” factor. With a perpetually cheesy smile and hair-sprayed locks a la evangelical TV preacher, the man seemed to revel just a bit too much in the embarrassment and downright humiliation of his guests.

Humiliation and marital discord were good for ratings.

Who Wrote the Questions? If you’ve watched even one of these shows, you know that there are some questions that are a bit…out there. It’s almost as if the writers and producers on the show were getting their kicks crafting questions that were guaranteed to:

a) Get mega laughs at the expense and humiliation of the contestants
b) Cause marital discord and possibly divorce as a result of the responses
c) Show the contestants to have less than average intelligence or,
d) All of the above

In the viewers’ estimation, it’s safe to say that the likely truth was “d” because humiliation and marital discord were good for ratings.

The Dating Game

And here’s yet another 1970s Chuck Barris production. Thanks, Chuck.

Yes, the game show production king via The Newlywed Game and The Gong Show wasn’t finished with the embarrassment yet. No — though it started in the 60s, The Dating Game really hit its stride in conjunction with the aforementioned staples of the decade, at once creating a trifecta of humiliation and entertainment.

The Dating Game’s premise was simple: a lonely soul, looking for love in all the wrong places, appears on a soundstage at ABC Studios, ready for whatever awaited them. Inclusive as it was for its time, the program equally accepted both male and female lonely hearts who were hopeful for the option of partners that they would choose from. Here’s the catch, however: they’d never see the person that they’d ultimately choose, instead determining the best match by the answers to questions that were provided. The three potential suitors would sit behind a dividing wall providing their answers sight unseen.

A recipe for disaster? Sometimes. Entertaining TV? Always.

So here’s what I want to know:

1. Who was vetting the contestants? Whoever it was did a really bad job. While it was entertaining to see your “average Joe” and “hopeful Jane” looking for love in front of a live studio audience, there were some sketchy and, in some cases, downright scary characters who participated on the show. Case in point: Rodney Alcala, aka “The Dating Game Killer.” I won’t go into all of the gory details but suffice it to say that he was NOT the “Mr. Right” that so many of the contestants were looking for. Spoiler alert: he was a serial killer. Loneliness is one thing, and wanting companionship is normal. Going on a date at the expense of your life? It ain’t worth it.

2. And the grand prize is….a chaperoned date! Why? Why on earth was a chaperone required? The contestants were full-grown adults on a quest to find love and perhaps, lust on this fun-loving game show. They were prepared to not only show up, but to ask and answer questions (sometimes embarrassing ones) that would hopefully win them that luxury vacation (with Samsonite luggage in tow). Who knows what may have happened if the winners were allowed to go alone and let nature take its course? The answer? No one. That’s because these adult winners had to be watched, lest they indulge in oh, whatever adults indulge in when alone (maybe “whoopee?”). Whose idea was the chaperone, anyway? Surely not Chuck Barris.’

3. Did Chuck Barris’ claim of being a CIA agent have anything to do with the format of the show? Most would agree that ones’ life experiences certainly affect the choices and decisions made. That being the case, is it safe then to assume that Chuck Barris’ creations — The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game and The Gong Show (to name a few) are a direct result of his secret life? If you’re not sure of what I’m alluding to, all you have to do is read up on the producer’s memoir: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind: An Unauthorized Biography. In the book, Barris claims to have been a covert CIA agent, going undercover in the 1960s to infiltrate the Civil Rights movement and to assassinate enemies of America.

Weird, right?

While the CIA and others have disputed his claims, Barris stuck to his story to his dying day. Considering the bizarre nature of his television creations and his equally strange personal life, would it be really that hard to believe yet another unconventional fact about this person? Assuming he was a CIA agent one can definitely then understand his “outside of the box” thinking which manifested itself in TV programming that didn’t fit the norms of its time. He succeeded in more ways than one because look: we’re talking about him and his shows decades later.

Was Chuck Barris a covert CIA agent? Enquiring minds want to know.

Fun fact: An impressive roster of celebrity guests graced the Dating Game soundstage before they were famous. These contestants included Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Prince. Unbelievable, isn’t it? Check out the clip below starring Arnold Schwarzenegger on the show before he became über famous. For an exhaustive (and pretty unbelievable) list of Dating Game appearances by regular Joes and Janes before superstardom, check out the list here.

Arnold Schwarzenegger on The Dating Game

As you can see, there are many lingering questions that have resulted from the game shows that were on every TV screen in the 1970s. I’ve just asked some of the questions, but there are so many more to investigate. To this end, there are way too many game shows from the years between 1970 through 1980 to stop at these three gems. Stay tuned for “70s Game Shows — I Have Questions — Part 2,” coming to a (not a TV)screen soon.

Fun Fact: In Canada, the phrase “a total gong show” is a popular slang that is frequently used, meaning a complete disaster or a chaotic situation or event.

Fun Fact: There was a Gong Show reboot that ran from 2017-2018 that didn’t come close to the zaniness of the original show.

**Author’s Note: An earlier version of this article was published on Eric Pierce’s Fanfare.**

I came across this image on Facebook and had to post it here. Nothing really to say about it other than the fact that it takes the mystery and wonder out of a staple of any Gen-Xer’s childhood.

Sure, we knew that Big Bird wasn’t really a “big bird,” and that there was likely a person behind the feathers. Even as young kids, the suspension of disbelief was strong. Unless we were very young, we didn’t really think that there was an 8ft. 2inch bright yellow bird that could talk and easily socialize with those who lived on Sesame Street. In our heart of hearts, we wanted to believe that there was.

Ditto for so many other cherished characters that populated our childhood. Whether they were on TV, in the movies or otherwise, they couldn’t not be what they appeared to be, could they?

No way. They couldn’t.

Cue Santa Claus.

Google “Santa Claus not real disillusionment” and you’ll be delivered a trove of articles, l…

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“As Seen on TV” is an ongoing series about our favourite (or not-so-favourite) commercials from our youth. In this first installment, we’ll remember a popular ad that painted the backdrop of our youth for almost a decade. Love it or hate it, you definitely remember it.

The Commercial: Calgon Detergent aka “Ancient Chinese Secret”

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