Hate Gen X? Get in Line (Behind a Gen-Xer)
In this New York Times piece, the author grapples with Generation X’s continual malignment in society, more often by Gen-Xers themselves.
You know what I’m talking about: the constant stream of memes, humour and often, outright disdain for anyone having the unfortunate taint of being born between the years of 1965 and 1980.
Generation X’s main character flaws include cynicism, complaining and many would say a general fatalistic world view. How could you blame us, though? We lived through the decline of records, then CDs, then DVDs and so on, and so on, and so on. This is traumatic stuff.
The article that highlights society’s disdain for Gen-Xers is based on perspectives straight from the proverbial horses’ mouths. Interviewing fellow folks of a certain age, the author asks the respondents to indulge in some self-reflection.
What did they really think about themselves?
The responses were surprising.
“No one hates me more than I hate myself,” said [author’s friend]. His was a typical response. “So good luck with making me feel bad about something I am so used to.”
Interesting.
Self-hatred?
Not sure that I agree, at least from my perspective and friends in my age group. But more on that later.
The perspective of the author herself is thought-provoking as well:
“I too was already well practiced in insulting myself. So these people hated me. They could get in line, but I was going to be No. 1 in that line forever.”
More self-loathing.
The perspective of a Millennial is perhaps the most interesting:
“Boomers know they’re lame but Gen X are lame and think they are cool.”
Huh?
This piece of apparent wisdom came from the author’s friend (who at age 32 seems to think she is a font of knowledge. Wait til she finds out…).
At least with this last point of view, it’s hatred directed at us by others, not us hating ourselves. I guess that’s better?
Anyway, this idea of being hated was quite a surprise to learn about, as it’s not been a perspective that is echoed by anyone I’ve known in this age group. If anything, it’s the opposite. We love ourselves and we don’t give a crap what people think of us, whether the haters are Boomers, Millennials, Gen Zs or otherwise. We didn’t get the memo about self-loathing because people don’t send memos anymore like they did in our heyday. Now they just sent texts, or worse, we’re '“ghosted.”
The bottom line? We just don’t care.
So where is this “woe is me” attitude coming from?
One can only assume that it’s emanating from the younger, hipper, more youthful crowd. Millennials have been beaten up in the media for a number of years now so of course they have to pass on the love. Punching up, as it were.
They hate Boomers, remember ( though the phrase “okay Boomer” is thankfully now a refrain that is no longer cool)?
A refresher for the Tik Tok crowd: Boomers are born between the years of 1946 and 1964; Generation X folks are born between 1965 and 1980.
Apparently much of the societal vitriol against Gen-Xers is the hilarious fact that some of the young ‘uns can’t do basic math and are mixing us up with Boomers.
They hate Boomers, remember (though the phrase “okay Boomer” is thankfully now a refrain that is no longer cool)?
A refresher for the Tik Tok crowd: Boomers are born between the years of 1946 and 1964; Generation X folks are born between 1965 and 1980. Get it right, kids - there is a very clear distinction between us and them.
One Generation X interviewee in the article bemoaned this very fact:
“People are conflating Gen X and boomer. It’s absolutely tragic for us to be lumped in with them. These people have no idea what they’re talking about. I mean, I saw someone the other day had called Marilyn Manson and Kurt Cobain boomers.”
But I digress.
There are some Millennials who are able to correctly discern between Boomers and Gen-Xers, allowing them to emphatically categorize whole populations of people as a monolith. They know the defining differences between the two groups.
As one proudly stated:
“Boomers know they’re lame but Gen X are lame and think they are cool.”
Huh?
This piece of apparent wisdom came from a person who at age 32 seems to think she is a font of knowledge. Wait til she finds out…).
So here’s the thing about us Gen-Xers: the self-hatred and loathing referenced in the New York Times article is a fallacy. For the most part, it does not exist.
Sure - there are the smattering of my contemporaries who do hate themselves and wish they could be younger, older or whatever, but they are in the minority. Trust me on this.
So here’s the thing about us Gen-Xers: the self-hatred and loathing referenced in the New York Times article is a fallacy. For the most part, it does not exist.
How could a generation that grew up largely unsupervised, unacknowledged and generally unspoiled by the next latest, greatest thing hate themselves? Loving ourselves is how we remained alive during those summers of running wild in the streets and drinking from water hoses. We had to love ourselves because if we didn’t, who would? Our parents were busy, out working and stuff. Remember? Self-preservation stems from not only the innate will to survive and live, but the ability to trust, care for and love ourselves.
And love ourselves we do. We’re not Boomers, Karens or any of the other disparaging titles that we’ve been wrongly labelled. Nor are we looking backwards and wishing that we were in the bloom of youth once more. There is value in wisdom, experience and living so many years, long enough to realize that at the end of the day, self-hatred and regret are wasted emotions.
So no, we’re not self-loathing. Self-deprecating, yes. But not self-loathing. There’s a difference: we see our flaws, laugh at them and live our lives, happily, thank you veery much.
The big error here is generalizing about people. We don't fit into nice boxes, easily digestible by everyone.